Hitting 50 and Beyond: Women Reinventing Themselves

Several women in my life have completely re-invented themselves in their 50's. I find this decade a fascinating and generative period of life, though of course when I was younger I would have thought that 50's was the end of the line, or at least the beginning of the end. It actually feels like the beginning of many things. As soon as I passed the birthday, I was infused with excitement about this coming decade.

During my doctoral studies I learned that though we have done a lot of work mapping the developmental stages of babies, children and adolescents, once we reach adulthood most people see it as one undifferentiated stage. The reality is that adulthood, too, has various stages, and I was palpably aware of the beginning of a new stage.

In Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life by Gail Sheehy, a book I picked up a couple of years ago when I was preparing for my 50th birthday, Sheehy breaks it down decade by decade. She carefully maps the stages of adulthood using anecdotal interviews and building on the work of various theoriest and psychologists. The book looks like and markets as a pop psychology book, but is rigorous, grounded and well written. She writes about women post-child raising who suddenly have new zest for life, who are able to tap "secondary interests...that can blossom into a serious life interest." Earlier in the book she uses another horticultural metaphor to speak of a woman who successfully "repots" herself in new soil.

So let me tell you about some of the women I know and what they have done:

A friend and neighbor went back to art school, got a masters in print making, and now does her own art, has built a career as an exhibit curator, and adjucates art shows. She did a massive renovation of her home to create a new master suite and beautiful patio which she designed.

Another friend and neighbor and book club member completed a 500 level yoga teacher training at Kent State University (equivalent to a PhD) and just recently passed her first Iyengar teacher assessment—an extremely rigorous and demanding training protocol. She also renovated her backyard shed into a beautiful yoga studio.

My childhood best friend moved from a life in the journalism and publishing industries to become an independent filmmaker, and creating a successful documentary about Jews in San Francisco, American Jerusalem, that is currently featured on PBS and many major film festivals.

Another friend, rabbinic colleague and book clubber, entered an intense chaplaincy training program at the Cleveland Clinic and now is the Director of Spiritual Care at Hillcrest Hospital.

Another friend and book clubber re-licensed herself as an RN and is now working doing hospice care at a local senior citizen home.

I notice as I wrote it up that many of them went back to school to retrain and retool. All of these women find their current new professions wholly engaging and inspiring. And I also recognize that I am fortunate to be surrounded by such erudite company!

This week I engaged in a coaching process with another friend and master coach, Leni Wildflower, the woman who taught my coaching certification program while I was a doctoral student at Fielding Graduate University, to plot my next trajectory. We had our first session and began the process and I am excited about where it will take me.
 
I remarked to her that I have or have had six different careers, none of which feel finished and all of which still call to me in some way.
1. Writer (science fiction writer)
2. Cantor (clergy, pulpit and substitute pulpit work)
3. Singer/Performer (Jewish music, chamber music, opera and classical recitals)
4. Mother and Spouse (on-going, obviously)
5. Organizational Development Professional (my current position with the Cantors Assembly)
6. Angel Investor in real estate and technology start-ups
7. TV watcher, book reader, leisure traveler and general lazy bum. I wish :)

Our work is to figure out which one(s) calls the loudest so that I can concentrate my goals and energies around it for this next stretch of living.

My first task was to write up scenarios for each one of these as if it is what I am doing and see how it looks and feels. I wrote them up on the plane to San Francisco, on the way to joining Irad and Yuval who have been working there much of this month. I will continue to report on how this work moves me forward.

But I also would like to hear from other people who have experienced this kind of personal re-invention in their 50s.